Collaborative Problem Solving
Rebecca Lingo • November 6, 2023

Dr. Ross Greene, a clinical psychologist and author of Raising Human Beings, among other publications, makes an impassioned plea on his website, Lives in the Balance, asking adults to recast how we think about challenging behavior. When children are behaving in challenging ways, Dr. Greene explains, it is "because they're lacking the skills not to be challenging. If they had the skills, they wouldn't be challenging.”


Dr. Greene also emphasizes two vital themes to better support our children. "Kids do well if they can," he states, and, "Doing well is always preferable to not doing well.”


If we wholeheartedly embrace the fact that our children want to do well if they can, we can take what Dr. Greene calls a “dramatic departure from the view of challenging kids as attention-seeking, manipulative, coercive, limit-testing, and poorly motivated. It’s a completely different set of lenses, supported by research in the neurosciences over the past 30 to 40 years, and it has dramatic implications for how caregivers go about helping such kids.”


How can we help?


It's worth noting that all children at some point demonstrate challenging behaviors. So how do we, as adults and caregivers, help children with these challenges?


The first step is to think about what difficulty a child is facing. The challenging behavior arises because of a difficulty. Listing specific difficulties helps us shift our thinking away from the behaviors that can cause us frustration.


Next, at a time when the behavior isn’t happening, we can find a time to connect and make sure it's a good time to talk. At that point, we can state what we've observed: "I've noticed it's been difficult for you to finish breakfast before we need to leave for school.”


The Empathy Step


Then (and this is key) we ask, “What’s up?” or “What’s going on?” 


This statement of a non-judgmental observation, and then an invitation to share, initiates what Dr. Greene calls the Empathy Step. The Empathy Step is an information-gathering process in which we really try to understand the child's perspective and experience. We listen without reacting and ask questions or reflect back answers in order to peel back the layers of what is really going on for the child in those moments of challenge.


During this time of reflective listening and questioning, it's essential that our child is heard, really heard. All too often, we try to jump in too quickly with advice or solutions, without giving enough time and space for our young person to share valuable perspectives and insights. Just this process of listening can be incredibly healing. If a child isn't used to us really listening, or we aren't used to asking questions rather than offering solutions, check out this cheat sheet for how to get to the heart of the matter.


Assuming our child has been able to share what's really going on in those moments of challenge, we summarize what is distressing to them and share our own concern. For example, "I understand, and my concern is that I feel stressed and anxious when we are rushing to get out the door in the morning." We then invite our child to work together with us to find a solution that can meet everyone's needs.


Schedule a tour by clicking this link to come visit our school and see how collaborative problem-solving works with children. We’ve found that it can also be helpful in our interactions with adults, too!


Current parents please use these links to sign up for your classroom observation:


Adolescent Seminar Observation

Ms. Searcy’s Upper Elementary Classroom Observation

Mrs. Fortun’s Lower Elementary Classroom Observation

Mrs. Mayhugh’s Lower Elementary Classroom Observation

Mrs. Berdick’s Primary Classroom Observation

Ms. Carr’s Primary Classroom Observation

Ms. Chiste’s Primary Classroom Observation

Mrs. Rogers’ Primary Classroom Observation

How Geometry Got Its Name
By Rebecca Lingo February 2, 2026
In Wheaton Montessori School classrooms, we like to introduce big ideas with big stories. We offer children a sense of wonder first, sort of like an imaginative doorway, so that when they later study formulas, theorems, and proofs, they already feel connected to the human story behind them. One of these stories is The Story of How Geometry Got Its Name, an introduction to a subject that is far older than the textbooks and protractors we encounter today. In Montessori, Geometry is more than about shapes. It is about human beings solving real problems in the real world. A Problem as Old as Civilization To reintroduce geometry, we time-travel back around 5,000 years to the ancient civilization of Egypt. This was a land shaped by the Nile River, the longest river in the world. Each year, the Nile flooded its banks as snowmelt poured down from the mountains far to the south. The Egyptians depended on this yearly flood as it left behind rich, dark silt that nourished their crops and made life possible in an otherwise harsh desert. But the flood created a challenge, too. It washed away the boundary markers that separated one farmer’s field from another. When the waters receded, no one could quite remember where their land began and ended. Arguments ensued. “This corner is mine!” And the fields needed to be measured and marked again. The First Geometers: The Rope Stretchers To solve this annual problem, the Egyptians relied on a special group of skilled workers called the Harpedonaptai, or Rope Stretchers. These were early land surveyors who used a knotted rope tied at regular intervals and three weights to create a very particular triangle. In our elementary classrooms, we invite a few children to hold a prepared rope at its large knots, forming that same triangle. As they stretch it out and lay it on the ground, many quickly recognize what the Egyptians had unknowingly created: a scalene right-angled triangle. This shape would later become central to the geometry studied by Greek mathematicians. The Harpedonaptai used this simple tool to re-establish field boundaries, set right angles, and make sure the land was measured accurately and fairly. Geometry, in its earliest form, served a deeply practical purpose. From Rope to Pyramid The Harpedonaptai’s expertise was valued far beyond the farmlands. They also helped lay out the foundations of temples, monuments, and even the Great Pyramid of Giza. The base of the Great Pyramid is a perfect square, which is an astonishing feat of measurement and design. The Pharaoh himself oversaw these measurements, but it was the Rope Stretchers who executed them. Their work represents one of humanity’s earliest recorded sciences: the careful measuring of the earth. How Geometry Got Its Name The name geometry reflects this ancient practice. It comes from two Greek words: gê — earth metron — measure Geometry literally means earth measurement. The Egyptians did not use the language of right angles, nor did they classify triangles as we do today. Their work was grounded in practical needs. They needed to solve problems, organize land, and create structures that would endure for thousands of years. Yet their discoveries influenced later thinkers like Pythagoras, who likely traveled to Egypt and learned from their methods. Over time, the simple knotted rope inspired a whole discipline devoted to understanding lines, angles, shapes, and the relationships between them. Why We Tell This Story in Montessori When Montessori children hear this story, something important happens. Geometry becomes more than a set of rules or vocabulary words. It becomes a human endeavor born from curiosity, necessity, and ingenuity. The heart of Montessori education at Wheaton Montessori School is to help children view knowledge not as isolated subjects, but as valuable gifts passed down from earlier generations. When children pick up a ruler, explore angles with a protractor, or classify triangles in the classroom, they are continuing a legacy that began with those early Rope Stretchers, the Harpedonaptai on the banks of the Nile. Through story, students feel connected to the people who shaped our world and to the problems that inspired great ideas. Geometry becomes meaningful, purposeful, and alive, from our preschoolers working with the Geometry Cabinet , to elementary students classifying and measuring angles or using hands-on Pythagorean Theory materials, and all the way through our adolescents. At the adolescent level, geometry moves fully into the real world. Students apply measurement, angles, area, scale, and spatial reasoning through meaningful work across campus, including: Measuring and mapping land for the campus’s Wetland Conservation Area, as well as calculating classroom square footage for recognition and accreditation applications Understanding and applying area, perimeter, scale, and proportion when working with acreage, restoration plans, and campus layouts Designing and situating functional structures such as chicken coops using geometric principles Applying angle classification, measurement, and spatial reasoning through woodworking Using geometry to cut, join, and build accurately, including raised beds, greenhouses, and beehive insulation boxes
Child reaching for an object,
By Rebecca Lingo January 26, 2026
Learn how the Montessori Absorbent Mind empowers young children to effortlessly absorb language, culture, and behavior, and how parents can nurture it.